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| Likes | Girls, feeling important |
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| Hates | His ex-girlfriend, people, animals, himself and spiders |
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Code:
I decided to include the whole application
bio in this. I know, it may create some meta but
I just want to make sure that all can bask in the
tragic nature of this character.
I hope you get a laugh out of it like I did writing it.
Fred has always been a loser in life. He got by in school is a C average all around except for Phys Ed. He almost failed it his senior year. He got into a community college and majored in liber arts. He figured that any college degree was good as another. He joined college when he was 21 so all the freshmen parties would invite him to do the booze runs and then kick him out of the party after he paid for everything and delivered it, multiple times. He never seemed to learn his lesson.
He had a girlfriend but she was the kind who when she joined college had very low self esteem. However, once she got more comfortable, she quickly realized he was a moron and dumped in. The next day, he walked into his dorm room to see her getting a facial by his room mate on HIS bed. There were fluids all over his bed and used condoms. Apparently they had been going at it for awhile and made him clean it up.
Naturally, and to no ones surprise, he dropped out of college. His father having been in the Army knew that somewhere down the line in raising his son, he had faild. He was never sure how because his other two children turned out great. Only his middle child was an idiot. He often wondered if his son got into some paint thinner or was dropped as a child. They had him tested for learning disabilities and they always came up negative. He was just a lazy sack of crap and as a result, an idiot.
fred was having trouble finding a job so he started lying on his applications saying he was a veteran. This got him a job at Burger King because everyone else could tell he was a lying sack of shit. One employer thought about offering him the job if he could do more push ups than the manager but the manager declined because she had things to do that were better than embarrassing him.
Not longer after working as a fry cook, he started talking about how the National Guard just sent him to a leadership course and that he was going to try and be a manager. Thats a long jump from the guy whose only job was to take the fries out when the beeper beeped... he even messed that up sometimes. Red flags started going off when people took a look at him and knew right off there was no way he was active. They called him out on it and so he told him he would prove it.
After work, he went to a military sutrplus store and bought a uniform. He made sure it looked like it had been used and not brand new. The only problem was, it was not a real uniform and just some hunting gear that was designed to look kinda like a military uniform. Any idiot could tell it was not a military uniform, except for Fred.
The next day he was not working so he showed up in his "uniform" and was very quickly told why it was wrong and laughed at mercilessly. The problem was, he showed up to the front counter so a bunch of patrons got to laugh at him as well. A real veteran with a missing leg confronted him. He may have been missing a leg but just one of that guys arms likely weighed more than all of Fred. He ran away as quick as possible, not bothering to listen to what the man was saying.
For the next week, Fred just didnt show up to work. He was too embarrassed. He was in his parents house where he still lived when everything went down. His parents were not at home so looking to be a badass, he grabbed his fathers old rifle and pistol. He didnt know how to use them and the rifle had no ammo for it and the pistol only had a few rounds. They also looked like they had not been touched in ages so no way to know if they even worked. This time, he took one of his dads old uniforms which would have been fine, if the uniform type had been used at all that decade. Fred didnt know that though. Old style BDUs it was... as well as a utility belt with a canteen pouch, no canteen on it... he didnt know what to do with the pistol so he kinda wedged it between his waist and the belt. The only way to describe him is ate the fuck up.
That didnt stop him from trying to tell anyone who would listen that he was military though.... sadly enough, some belived him and let him travel with them. It didnt take long for them to realize it and kick his ass and steal his weapons. Once they realized the rifle was decommissioned and would never fire again and that the pistol was a rusted piece of shit, they tossed them away but kept the ammo. He followed them from a distance and reclaimed his essentially useless weapons and moved on trying to find someone else that might believe him.
